And not in a good way. He was literally insane, and he was an absolute tyrant. He’s my favourite Roman emperor, just because he’s so interesting
His father was a military hero, and he spent the first few years of his life on an army camp, where he paraded around wearing this mini-military uniform his mother made (which is where he got his name- “Caligula” meaning “little boot”). The soldiers basically worshipped him.
As a teenager, he was called before Tiberius (who was a complete tyrant in his own right, and supposedly killed members of Caligula’s family) on the island of Capri, where he was forcibly adopted and as a result of how well he was treated he supposedly developed Stockholm Syndrome (though this is subject to debate). He held an undying hatred for Tiberius but was forced to show respect, so took out his anger on others and enjoyed watching executions and torture, and frequently indulged in orgies
TIBERIUS THOUGHT HE WAS MAD. TIBERIUS.
He gains absolute power of the Roman Empire at the 24- spent the last 5 years watching Tiberius murder, rape, and torture innocents for his own pleasure. So it’s fair to say he’s pretty messed up. He starts off by obliterating unpopular tax and literally giving away money- thus winning the adoration of the citizens. Then, seemingly overnight, he becomes a vicious, bloodthirsty psychopath.
Early in his reign, he fell ill and spent a considerably period of time on the verge of death. Following most of his recovery, he still suffered major headaches and sometimes wandered round his palace in the dead of night, and started cross-dressing
During his illness, one man offered his life in exchange for Caligula’s recovery. When he recovered, Caligula sought out this man and had him sacrificed.
He called banquets, raped the female guests, then brought them back to the table to discuss the rape with the other guests
HE DECLARED WAR ON THE GODS. Hence why he had the army fight Poseidon.
He would make parents watch the executions of their children
He held dinner parties for highly-regarded Roman citizens, during which he would order the executions of criminals between courses and- while his guests were dining- he would rape their wives in the room next door
He appointed a horse as a consul. I’ll say that again. HE NAMED A HORSE A CONSUL. He had said horse attended to by 18 servants and fed it oats mixed with gold flakes
He names himself a living God
He his reign lasted four years, before he was stabbed to death. He did all that in four years.
I’M SORRY I JUST REALLY LOVE ROMAN HISTORY OK
Also when he would throw house parties he would hide wild animal like lions in random rooms and made people tour his house by themselves and they would be eaten if they opened the wrong door
(just so you know I did a huge project about him in history)
This hurts me so bad. Sherlock and John have known each other for years, and throughout this entire time, Sherlock never once thought that John accepted him as a friend. Sherlock always thought someone was better (Mike Stamford, Greg Lestrade), even though they lived together, and solved case after case together. John has always cared for Sherlock equally as much as Mary, and Sherlock has never noticed a bit of it.
Beautiful and bittersweet. Yes, it was sad for Sherlock before he realized and he’s on his own again.
But Sherlock, the genius has incredibly low self esteem. Yes, he knows and values his skills and his abilities. He is self aware in that respect. But self esteem is entirely different. Sherlock does not see himself as a person of being worthy of the honour of being anyone’s best friend. Friends he has come to accept that he has, but he knows that they mostly do not like him. Add to this the extreme love and admiration that he holds for John and we have a completely valid reason for surprise. He’s used to being admired (frequently by John in fact) and even desired, but not cared for.
This is equal parts love for John and hate for himself. He believes that John deserves the best and he believes himself incapable of being that.
The moment that John hugs Sherlock mid-toast was amazing for me. Sherlock has the proof in the asking of just how much John cares for him. But that hug, that was a tangible affirmation of that vow. Because even if you’re told that you are loved and appreciated and valued as a person, when you have as low self esteem or as high self loathing as Sherlock, you still tend to doubt even the firm facts laid out before you. That hug, that was what he needed. It dispelled the tension in the room and thus was practical and appropriate at the time, but it also confirmed that John continues to see Sherlock as his best friend and the best man.